Week 5: Guatemala

During the past three weeks on Prayer Mountain, I’ve had a profound realization about my self-perception. I look at myself too much. Not in a “oh I’m so pretty” type of way but I’ve come to recognize a more self-centered tendency in my thoughts. The absence of mirrors on Prayer Mountain has been instrumental in a shift of my self, eliminating the constant need to check for imperfections or to assess my physical attributes. The refreshing aspect lies in the fact that without mirrors, what I look like in any given moment is what others perceive, allowing me to redirect my attention from self-observation to a more meaningful connection with God. This break from superficial concerns has brought about a sense of clarity and a deeper understanding of who God sees me to be. It’s a transformative experience that I aim to integrate into my daily life, fostering continued mindfulness, gratitude, and moments of reflection to maintain this newfound perspective beyond Prayer Mountain.

 

Reflections 

 

You wake to a selfish dawn,

Stare in the mirror, flaws drawn.

New acne marks, like morning dew,

the world’s critique in every hue.

Imperfections, the world deems your sin,

New day, fresh marks, your world begins.

Self-reflection, a selfish stare,

Uncertainty clouds the face you wear.

It’s all about you, or so you believe,

In your own gaze, you deceive.

Reflection stares back, a questioning gaze,

unsure of the identity it portrays.

The mirror reflects a selfish view,

Me, myself, and I, the only crew.

The world’s whispers fade away,

As you indulge in your ego’s play.

 

You grasp the phone, a selfish quest,

Screen reflection, a distorted jest.

Through apps, your life they consume,

In the camera lens, your ego looms.

Snapshots of self, a digital scroll,

Your essence trapped in the camera’s hold.

Through filters and frames, reality twists,

A virtual world where the self persists.

In the endless scroll, a self-made parade,

Your life reduced, a facade displayed.

Through pixels and screens, your essence unfolds,

In the digital realm, your story’s told.

 

Down the street, a narcissistic stroll,

Reflections in car windows, a self-patrol.

Shop windows become mirrors, your stage,

Ensuring you’re unchanged, as if in a cage.

Every step, a glance, a self-appraisal,

Car windows whisper, a self-denial.

In shopfronts, you seek the world’s endorsement,

A validation sought, a constant torment.

You must look the same, as you did before,

In this external game, a never-ending chore.

A world of reflections, demanding conformity,

In this vain pursuit, losing all sincerity.

 

You step into the car, a private cocoon,

Visor mirror beckons, like a haunting tune.

Rear view mirror, a glimpse of the past,

Side mirror whispers, your vanity held fast.

Engulfed in metal, your own private sphere,

Reflection obsession, crystal clear.

Visor, rear, side, mirrors align,

Your focus solely on the self you define.

As wheels turn, and the world goes by,

Your own reflection, the apple of the eye.

A journey through life, but the view is one,

In the mirrors’ gaze, the self is spun.

 

In a public space, a bustling scene,

Restroom door opens, an act routine.

In front of the mirror, you stand alone,

Freshening up, in a world of your own.

Public hums, conversations and chatter,

Yet, in the mirror, it’s only you that matter.

Water runs, reflections distort,

You seek only yourself, a self-absorbed fort.

A sea of faces, you choose to ignore,

In the mirror’s gaze, your ego will soar.

Freshening up becomes a selfish affair,

A solipsistic ritual, unaware.

In this crowded place, amidst the noise,

Your self-seeking gaze, it deploys.

Mirror, the accomplice, in your self-obsessed delve,

In your own reflection, you choose to envelop.

…. 

You ascend the prayer mountain’s peak,

A realm where the self is meek.

His light envelops, a radiant guide,

In its glow, your self begins to hide.

No mirror, no glass to reflect your face,

His creation unfolds, a divine embrace.

Acne marks and imperfections fade,

In His light, your essence remade.

No screens, no apps, no worldly strife,

Only His word, a transformative life.

His word seeks you, a guiding flame,

in the seeking, you find your true name.

In the back of the truck, nature’s grand show,

His creation surrounds, a sacred flow.

You forget your face, your worldly trace,

Seeking only His, in this sacred space.

Teammates reflect His grace and love,

A divine reflection from above.

 

As you stroll, a face familiar, akin,

Yet not a stranger, a kin from within.

Unbeknownst, you’ve passed a mirror unseen,

A reflection, lost in the spaces between.

Features forgotten, a face unclear,

In the glass, your own gaze disappears.

A moment of disconnect, a self in exile,

Your own reflection, lost for a while.

Forgotten in the pursuit of divine grace,

No desire for self, no worldly trace.

Only His face, you long to embrace,

In the mirror’s absence, a sacred space.

 

On Prayer Mountain, where His spirit assembles, 

This is what we’re meant to resemble,

Your own image, a forgotten file.

Forgotten features, forgotten grace,

In the pursuit of His divine embrace.

No desire for self, no worldly trace,

Only His face, you long to embrace.

In this prayer mountain, a divine retreat,

Self is lost, and His presence you meet.

No more seeking the world’s reflection,

You find solace in His divine connection.

A shift profound, from self to divine,

A sacred realm, where reflections intertwine.

 

Over and out.

Love,

Caroline