Week 8: Guatemala

Lemme be real 

Disclaimer: the things I’m about to tell you is not to complain or make it seem like I’m having a terrible time. I’m just informing you that everything you see in a picture isn’t the whole story. There’s more to the story than what you see. 

So here’s the truth.

It’s hard out here. I feel like all my blogs, weekly highlights, and photo circle pictures make it seem like everything is sunshine and rainbows … but its not. It’s more like it’s partly cloudy and the occasional banana split with rainbow sprinkles. 

These past few weeks especially have been difficult for me. From the stomach bug, to head colds, to physical weaknesses, mental weaknesses, spiritual warfare, living in constant community, personality differences. It’s all a struggle. Crap hit the fan for me  (literally. Ok not literally. But almost). 

Through these struggles it’s made me realize I really miss home. 

I’ve missed my family who truly excepts me for me. Who love me unconditionally. Who supports me 100%. 

I miss not being able to lay on my clean cold bathroom tie floors when I’m sick. Or not having spiders crawl around me when I  hunched over a toilet.

I miss cuddling in my cozy bed or being able to lay on a couch with a blanket and a puppy.

I miss my mom making me soup, caring, and providing for me. 

I miss my dad running to the store to get me a Gatorade or slushy . 

I miss home 

All these things seem so silly to miss but when you’re sick and on the side of a mountain you truly realize you’ll never take those things for granted anymore. 

It’s hard living in constant community. It’s hard constantly trying to be better and do better for Jesus. It’s hard constantly learning. It’s hard living on the side of a mountain. It’s hard sleeping in a tent on the ground (no pun intended). It’s hard when your tent gets infested with ants. It’s hard constantly living in dust. It’s hard when you have limited showers. It’s hard when you randomly run out of water. It’s hard being away from home when you’re sick. It’s hard. 

…but not as hard as dying on the cross for others sins…

So it’s worth it. It’s worth laying my life down for Christ. It’s worth allowing myself to be a vessel . It’s worth not having all the comforts of home. It’s worth dying to the flesh. In the end the flesh dies and the spirit lives. 

So yes, it’s hard. I would be lying if I said it was easy. But it’s easy to say yes to Him. All of our earthly struggles are 100% worth eternity with our Heavenly Father.

I pray you know this too.

Over and out, 

Love y’all 

Caroline